TOLERANCE

 

This is a very important virtue one should possess, but sadly it is getting lesser in us thanks to the headphone and earphone lifestyle of ours. Now how is the headphone, and its slimmer cousin, earphone, related to tolerance, you would ask.

Yes they are. We are so particular about the song, the podcast, or mantra which we want to listen to that if some song or podcast is played which is not to our liking; we quickly cover our ears with our respected and respective earphones, and shut the ‘noise’ out. Different members of the family have different devices, and their own earphones. Each one is busy listening to or watching his own choice of entertainment. What is entertainment to one is boredom to the other.

Of course, we are taught since our school days to have our own choice, and to not follow the herd. We should have the freedom to listen to our own stuff. All that is very fair my friend. Where we go wrong is zero tolerance for the choice of the other. If we desire to buy a blue shirt and wear it to office, and our colleague decides to wear a red one, are we going to get all frustrated, and shout at the poor thing, as to what a horrid choice of colour he has. You can’t do that right? You ought not to. This world is such a beautiful place because of its diversity. Just imagine a world where everyone is wearing the same shade of colour as yours, wearing the same perfume, eating the same food, drinking the same beverage, and yes, listening to the same music. I bet, you would want to jump off the nearest cliff out of ennui and monotone. So, uniformity is lethal. Diversity is life. We are nature’s beings, full of multifariousness. So patience has to be our second nature.

We can build up our dipping levels of tolerance by watching at least a movie together on a weekend. The movie could be chosen by the youngest or oldest member of the family. It could be the fairy tale movie, the choice of the littlest girl in the family, or an old classic of the grandpa. And yes, everyone should look forward to watching it. Make it fun. Order some food, or fry some snacks. And sit with a mindset that you ARE going to enjoy it. Keep away your mobile phones for those two or three hours. Won’t it be fun? This way the little girl will also enjoy watching a movie of her parent’s choice. And yes, every member of the family should get a chance. Even if you have a full-time servant, ask him or her. If you wish to get adventurous hit the theatres. Whatever. The place doesn’t matter, the bonhomie does.  And it will work wonders to raise the tolerance levels. Even yours, as you would be ‘required’ to see a movie your son has suggested and slowly start liking his genre. We can do the same thing for music too, or a podcast. This way, if you wish your young niece to listen to some motivational speaker, you could do that. Let all the members of the family listen to the guru. Let all learn in their own special ways. Maybe, grandma could also get some insight. Anyways, you are never too old to learn.

Easier said than done though. At first all would make faces, be fidgety, slowly ferret out their cellphones, and give a quick peek. Let it be that way. Slowly it would become a habit. Tolerance like all virtues is like a muscle; it needs to be exercised. Once you become more tolerant, you will be surprised to see the change in you. You will be calm, cool, and petty matters would not irk you anymore. You would start loving your job more, be friendlier with your colleague whom you first thought to be irritable, and so on. We could also think of buying things according to the choice of all the members of the family. The curtains could be chosen by the lady of the house, the bed sheets by grandma, and the cushions by the daughter. Even the little brother, all of seven, could choose the table napkins, just about anything. And you choose the cutlery. Imagine the smiles, the twinkles in the eyes, the cheer in the household, when all feel so good to see their choice of things being used. It’s a great feeling to just watch their happiness.

Tolerance pays rich dividends. Because there are times, and there are many of them when we have to perform in accordance with other’s choices, at work, in schools, at public places, and so on. This virtue is also needed by a school student who does not like some subject, yet has to learn its lessons, and score outstandingly. If the child is taught to be tolerant at an early age, he would somehow make himself ready to start liking that subject too.

Life would be so much more vibrant and positive if we build up our tolerance muscle slowly and steadily. We can manage our emotions in a better manner, and keep away from thinking about trivial issues, just because we can’t tolerate something in it, and give more of our time and mental space to creative pursuits, and all things good. So friends, start today, be more accommodating, and see the change. Just do it!

Charity - Do it to Feel Good

 

Charity

 Do it to Feel Good

by Suparna Sinha

 

Charity. This word may provoke different reactions in different people. Some of us love to do charity just to make ourselves happy, for a sense of self-fulfilment. Some of us do so to prove that we are a notch higher than our peers, and show them that we can dispense off with a moderate sum of money. In short, we satisfy our egos. And well, let’s face it, most of us don’t think charity to be our cup of tea. We are not plainly interested in charity; we feel that it is the responsibility of the government or the uber-rich to take care of the needy; we have enough number of people to spend our money on; we have to satisfy the material needs of our family, relatives, and sometimes friends, and are sincerely concerned about their welfare. Where is the mental space to think about anybody else, let alone fulfil their monetary needs? That too a nameless person, whom we haven’t met, or will never meet again? Does anybody give us money for free? Never. We have to toil day in and day out to earn money. What is the use of feeding a hungry stomach when millions are dying of hunger in the world? Excuses galore!

Here is where you are wrong my dear friend. If there are millions dying of hunger, then there are millions who fall sick due to over-eating. We are lucky to have more than enough food on our plates. Can’t we just share a tenth of it? It would fill some part of a hungry stomach.

You would say, it’s easier said than done. But I would want to reverse this. It’s easier done than said. So friends, first do it. Just find a way to feed a hungry one. It could be two slices of bread; that would mean a lot to a hungry person who was ready to end his yet another food-deprived day.

There is another argument put forth by people that beggars are lazy people. They are not ready to work. This I feel is a ridiculous statement. Do they have the opportunity to work? How many of us have told a destitute to get in our cars, taken them home or to a shop, and given them a job? How do we expect them to toil under the blazing sun, or icy chill without food in their stomachs?

So friends, instead of analyzing a beggar’s attitude, just feed him a paltry share of your food. It feels good. It really does. Just do it and see for yourself. When you see a hungry soul, just think how fortunate you are and feel privileged to share your fortune. Thank God that He has given you this opportunity for good karma.

Charity is contagious. If you start it, others will follow suit. Slowly but surely, millions would go to bed with satiation in their minds, and blessings in their hearts, for all of us who have helped them. Make charity a way of life. Even if you share a page calling for donations to end hunger, you are being charitable. If you feel that it isn’t possible to reach out to the starving in Africa, you are wrong. There will be a way, if your will to do good to others is strong. New ideas would crop up, and if a wave of egalitarianism sweeps the world, governments and other organizations would rethink on their strategies, or invent new ones. Food banks would be common, giving would be a way of life, and food would be like oxygen, ever available, never to deplete.

It is a big ask you may say, but why think about the ask, when all we have to do is part with a fraction of the food we eat every day, give it in the hands of a hungry child, watch its eyes twinkle, see its bright smile, and feel blessed and good about it. Just try being charitable for once, and you would never want to be the same old self again.

TIME MANAGEMENT - CAN WE REALLY DO WHAT WE LIKE?

                                                            

 

The phrase “time management” invokes fear, hatred, indifference and some other emotions in most of us. We feel that we are not automatons running from one activity to the other, while always keeping an eye on the innocuous yet powerful “time waits for no one” clock. Does time rule us? Is it God? Who is it to say that we ought to get up from our favourite activity of surfing the internet accompanied by chomping of chips, to hitting the gym, pumping iron, and sweating it out? Uff!

No, of course not. It is not God. But we have to keep this very important thing in mind. We are not going by the clock; we are attuning ourselves to achieve more in a short span of twenty four hours. Just stop saying the trite phrase “Where is the time”, the phrase which leads to more and more laziness around the world. To get more out of one day, divide your time (and be generous, very generous, to yourself) , between tasks which you have to do. Let us forget the priority part for now. In thinking of which task requires more priority, and which less, we lose a considerable amount of time. I believe that every task, whether important or not, at that specific moment needs to be attended to. Else, it becomes a nagging one, and eventually many such nagging ones pile up, and you are doomed.

So just make a neat to-do list on your cell phone or a piece of paper. Write each and every task and be sure to devote some time to tasks which were at the back of your mind, but didn’t dare do due to “lack of time” (Oh! not again)

If you want to read a book, or clean that shelf you had been thinking about for quite some time now, do squeeze in these tasks or passions. Devote half an hour at the beginning. And guys, one thing has to be done. You have to stop that activity when the time is up. Else, if you passionately go on with that book reading, all the other tasks would scream at you from your neat to-do list. At the end of the day, you complain to yourself, “that was the precise reason I didn’t read that book all this time!!” And you put away your favourite book  with a heavy heart.

If you train yourself to stop and start your activities at the stipulated time, you will emerge a happier, calmer, and more accomplished person by your standards. You will see that you could do a variety of activities, and pursue your passions, in those 24 hours. And one thing, you will thank for sure, “the clock”.

Be Positive

 

 

 

Be Positive

Yes. That is what they profess. Think “yes”, say “yes”, do “yes” etc., etc. Of course looks good on print though, but hard to practice. All the more difficult when you are in one of those moods, down and blue. When saying or thinking “yes” makes matters worse for you to handle. Not to worry. Let that mood pass. Nothing lasts forever. If happiness doesn’t, nor does sadness. So bear with your sadness. Just because someone mentioned that reading a book, listening to a particular genre of music may uplift you, just don’t do it if you do not want to. Sit there and grumble and mumble. How long can you do it? Ultimately a chore, a knock on the door, a phone call, or a Whatsapp notification will surely intrude upon your “sad” state of affairs, and before you know it, you will be out of your blues, and smiling, or who knows, even laughing away to glory.

Life is wondrous, and so also all that goes with it – our heart, mind, body, emotions. It's hard to always understand the reason for our smiles and tears. Let’s not try to. Let these wondrous emotions take their own course. So smile if you want, cry if you must. At the end of the day, you will emerge as a happier, lighter, and stronger person. Positivity cannot be concocted, something which will stay with you forever. So be positive about being positive, till of course you find a reason to grumble!

A New Oath for Independence Day

 

A New Oath for Independence Day 

 Independence of thought, independence of actions,

 Free from prejudices, and negative intentions.

May we rise above pettiness,

Shower all with love and kindness.

Let us pull each other up, let all spirits soar,

See if someone is knocking, go open the door.

Give him food, water, clothes or a patient ear,

Sometimes all one needs is a smile and a cheer.

Shine the torch of truth, benevolence and empathy,

To all who need it, and you will be blessed aplenty.

For, to give is to receive, is all we should know,

 God has given us love, it’s time we ought to show.

Why not try something beautiful and new this Independence Day

Live together as humans, let all reservations wash away.

Letting go of fear

 

Letting go of fear

Many books and articles are all over the place, preaching about how to let go of fear. There are techniques too which offer step-by-step solution, which make you brave and face an impediment which is currently haunting you, and affecting your life, career and relationships. But it is easier said than done. Most of the time people start following a technique with great gusto, only to lose interest after a few days with the oft used excuse around the globe, “Where is the time!” And they are back to their fearful ways.

So let’s face it. Fear is too intrinsic an emotion to be tackled with a few steps of techniques. It will go when it has to. You need to have patience for that moment, and not get worked up, making it all the more easy to stay with you, well-ensconced in a safe crevice of your mind, gnawing at your useful, productive energy. Just hold on. It may take a couple of months or days depending on how much you ignore it. Yes, you heard that right. The more you don’t think about it and give it attention, the more it feels like an unwelcome visitor, and bids you goodbye.

Stop comparing yourself with others who are fearless in a particular aspect. Suppose, you are scared of driving, and you compare yourself with a friend who is adept in it. Who knows, she might be scared of swimming, while you may be a water-baby.

Start taking baby steps to overcome your fears. Nope, this is not a technique I am writing about; it is just going out there, opening the car door, and sitting at the driver’s seat. The next day, do all of the former, and also tie your seat belt, and so on. If on any day, you don’t want to do one more baby step, don’t stress. Repeat the previous day’s ones and be happy. But be at it. Don’t stop. Do it naturally. Think about the outcomes of overcoming your fears. Never think about the FEAR. The moment you stop feeding it with energy, it will die its natural death and leave your body.

So there you go! Live fearless! Live happy!

Suparna Sinha

http://everpositive.blogspot.com/